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As I look back at the year, I could easily expound on life, growth, gratitude, and love in 2015, and how I look forward to continuing those things in 2016. I can easily use vague comments to reference the people I love and hold dear. However, in my posting life, I’ve done that enough, and simply because I feel a certain way, does not mean it resonates.

What do I mean? In all of my “happiness,” and “hopefulness,” I still live in a country that fails to bring justice to the family of a murdered teen. No Life Matters…especially Black, the evidence is growing in support of that. Tamir Rice is another casualty in an increasing epidemic of injudicious police murders in this country. My heart is heavy for a myriad of reasons, this just augments that weight. It makes you wary, but what am I going to do? Lock myself inside and hide from the world? No.

Happy New Year? What about them?


Memoriam for:
Dontre Hamilton, Eric Garner, John Crawford, Michael Brown, Ezell Ford, Dante Parker, Tanisha Anderson, Akai Gurley, Rumain Brisbon, Jerame Reid, Tony Robinson, Philip White, Eric Harris, Walter Scott, Freddie Gray, Yvette Smith, Miriam Carey, Shelly Frey, Darnisha Harris, Malissa Williams, Alesia Thomas, Shantel Davis, Rekia Boyd, Shereese Francis, Aiyana Stanley-Jones, Tarika Wilson, Kathryn Johnston, Alberta Spruill, Kendra James.

Have you heard many of these names? Happy New Year for these families?

When I look at my nieces and nephews, and think of the children I want to bring into my life, and into this world…these, and many other concerns are constant. Here in Atlanta an incorrect address led to the murder of an elderly woman by the “authorities.” It is difficult to champion the “cause,” when a new name seems to come forward daily or new reports of how these officers elude any indictment. When official outcry comes out against these officers, and they are not brought to justice simply works to support of my lack of faith in this system.

Am I crazy here? Is this simply coincidence, and the melanin in my skin makes me feel that police are killing Black people? Am I oversensitive to these killings?

Earlier this week a white woman, Elaine Rothenberg, in Connecticut brandished a BB gun and pointed it at officers while shouting “Boom, boom, boom,” and Shoot me.” She was taken into custody and charged with a felony for the severity of her actions. No…I see this very clearly. Do Black Lives Matter, to this country, clearly not.

NCFS-TableIt also disgusts me when the collective “We” don’t care about these lives with the continued crimes within our communities, or against each other. Unfortunately, as the aforementioned numbers rise, DOJ information cites that 62.2% of the crimes against Black people are by Black people.

How can I fix this…or rather, how can I be a part of the solution? How can I find that former zealot within myself?

Today, before I put myself first, and think about all of my good, my opportunity, and my chances at life again, I reserve time for those who no longer have that ahead of them, and their families who mourn their senseless murders.

The manuscript Blue Lines is the fictional coming of age narrative of a young California woman Key Yemaya Walker, and her 2 year growing journey through school, love, and life period piece, written by Kenneth Suffern, Jr., taking place at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill between the years of 1997 – 1998. Loosely based on true events, and experiences during that time, told through the eyes and voice of the main female protagonist, a freshman first attending the school.