What I Learned Sundays – Normalize Mourning

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Atlanta, Blue Hurt, Blue Lines, Blue Lines Blog, Bob Rude, Brooke Suffern, California, Cancer, Chanhassan, Chapel Hill, Coachella, cry, Death, Don Watson, Georgia, iPhone, iPhone 12 Pro, iPhone Post, iPhoneagraphy, Key Yemaya Walker, Keypsiia, Keypsiia Walker, Keypsiia Yemaya Walker, Love, Minneapolis, Minnesota, Mourn, mourning, music, musician, North Carolina, Pain, Paisley Park, pop, R&B, Red Phone Booth, rock, Sacramento, Singer-songwriter, songwriter, Soul, Starbucks, UNC Chapel Hill, University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill, What I Learned Sundays

I saw the title of an article that mentioned how Black Panther: Wakanda Forever speaks to normalizing Black mourning. I looked to find it after watching the film, as not to encounter spoilers, but all was for naught. More importantly, I chose to make my own path to mourn, especially after this week. I historically try to be the supportive person, and not address my needs when mourning…but I opened myself up to that rawness today.

I don’t know where to start…in March of this year, my dear friend Bob reached out to me. I had shared Prince experiences and more with he and his bride, Lisa, and last saw him at Red Phone Booth in Atlanta, 2 nights before I moved to California. We chatted about family, Mother’s Day had just passed, and his sons birthdays. We talked of seeing each other upon visits. Then a pandemic happened.

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What I Learned Sunday – I Know Nothing – Father’s Day

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Anthony Bourdain, Atlanta, Blue Hurt, Blue Lines, Blue Lines Blog, California, Father's Day, Georgia, Key Yemaya Walker, Keypsiia, Keypsiia Walker, Keypsiia Yemaya Walker, Sacramento

“…as you move through this life, and this world, you change things slightly, you leave marks behind, however small. And in return, life and travel leaves marks on you. Most of the time, those marks on your body, or your heart are beautiful. Often though, they hurt…” ~ Anthony Bourdain

After 42 years, I’m honest enough to say, ‘I know nothing.’ Life happens the way it is supposed, and it may not develop as you decided to plan out. There were days that I sought out certain goals and places in my life…a route that I had full control of. Times before, I was the great and cool uncle. I’ve experienced devotion and love in that role, from calming my nieces, to travel vast distances regularly to see their development from an infant to a toddler and adolescent. I don’t know what it is to be a father. To stand there in awe as my child is being born. To face my insecurities as I try guide this precious life in the right direction and not project what I want onto them.

Each day, I’m learning what it feels like to be a father. I’m about 2.5 to 3 years late, but to marvel at this young life. There is nothing that melts your heart like a 3 year old telling you she ‘loves you,’ nor is there pain like when she cries when you leave on an airplane after telling her that ‘the last time you left, was the last time that you were going to leave.’

I easily remember a time that I said that I was ‘lucky,’ to be corrected that I was ‘blessed.’ This little girl has blessed, and remanufactured our lives in ways that can not be explained. As I right this, I’m her jungle gym…among other things.

On this Father’s Day, I can’t tell you that I understand my parents, or my father. I surely can’t tell you that I’m experienced or an expert on this, I learn multiple new things each day. I’m wowed by the person she is, daily, and I’ve learned a new type of love. Everyday I’m thankful.

The manuscript Blue Lines is the fictional coming of age narrative of a young California woman Key Yemaya Walker, and her 2 year growing journey through school, love, and life period piece, written by Kenneth Suffern, Jr., taking place at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill between the years of 1997 – 1998. Loosely based on true events, and experiences during that time, told through the eyes and voice of the main female protagonist, a freshman first attending the school

What I Learned Sundays – Change Happens

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Blue Lines, What I Learned Sundays

I have easily said that there has been a change in my life, and there has…but it has been a result of the dearth of changes that came before. Am I a changed man? What does that change include?

I saw a friends Facebook page, and looked at the focus of his life amidst his own ordeal, and saw the center and focus on his family (READ: children and wife). Though the grass oft looks greener on the other side, I can see how genuine his love for his family is. Why did that resonate to me? I think because that was what I wanted. The wife, the kids, the house. Sit back in stability. I thought in terms of “We,” and the greater “We.” silly, no sentimental symbols would show off our union, though in the end it was not about anyone else.

What I Learned Sundays – In Time (assisted by FKA twigs)

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Atlanta, Blue Hurt, Blue Lines, Blue Lines Blog, Friends, Georgia, Hands, iPhone, iPhone 6, iPhone Post, Like, Love, Lust, Sacramento, San Francisco, Touch, UNC, What I Learned Sundays

This post topic has been one that I slowly phased out in 2012, with one reappearance in late 2013 due to the senseless violence, and a child being shot at that time. I met the child who survived a bullet wound to his head.

When I think of how time affects the way we think about concepts in life, I think about LOVE and the impetus to write my manuscript Blue Lines around 1998.

LOVE then was idealistic, and without a basis. We could conquer worlds. LOVE would lead us places together. To quote Keypsiia Walker’s discourse in Blue Lines taken from the person she was based on, “If two people love each other, it doesn’t matter if they have a Benz or it they have a bus pass. I think love is stronger than anything in this world.” Young love is willing to go all metaphoric boundaries.

What I Learned Sundays – Lucky

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What I Learned Sunday…wow…Lucky

It has been well over a year since I had something to write about that I learned. Have I had learning lessons…yes, but there came a time to walk away from the monotony and detritus of what was going on at that time.

Enter 2013…Chicago…

Late one night, while on location for work in Chicago, several days of violence erupted and the results were murders retaliation and a 3 year old child being shot in the head. The events themselves were disappointing, and the threat of violence frightening to many. But, one sits in a situation wondering what they can do, especially after learning that the young child would survive the violence he as a child should not have had to face.

Our response, we as an organization were able to promote and support the Chicago area children with a campaign called, “Let the Children Play,” with a focus on just that. Giving children an outlet to simply be…children. During that process, I was lucky enough to meet the child and his family. I also got to speak with them about their concerns, gratitude, and the fear that was instilled in their children’s lives, and the Chicagoland children. The experience was heart wrenching to state the least.

What I Learned Sundays – Father’s Day 2013

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1935, 2013, Brother, family, Father's Day, Grand Daughter, iPhone 5, iPhone Post, Keypsiia Yemaya Walker, Love, Niece, Parents, What I Learned Sundays

Father’s Day:
Each day that we have to celebrate our Father’s (parents) is a fortunate day. My Father turned 78 last Wednesday, and had the opportunity to have his 38th Father’s Day shared with his youngest son, a Father, and his only Grandchild.

Great day!!!

The manuscript Blue Lines is the fictional coming of age narrative of a young California woman Key Yemaya Walker, and her 2 year growing journey through school, love, and life period piece, written by Kenneth Suffern, Jr., taking place at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill between the years of 1997 – 1998. Loosely based on true events, and experiences during that time, told through the eyes and voice of the main female protagonist, a freshman first attending the school.

What I Learned Sundays – Mother’s Day Free Write – Happy Mother’s Day

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2011, 2012, Anniversary, Atlanta, Bestman, Blue Lines, Blue Lines Blog, California, Free write, Georgia, Key Yemaya Walker, Life, Marriage, Masterpiece, Matron of Honor, Mother, Mother's Day, poetry, Prose, Sacramento, Wedding Anniversary, What I Learned Sundays

In the end, this truly touches on today, Mother’s Day. Last night I had that strange “getting old” moment, or maybe the maturation thought moment. It’s very different then the moment you plan out your life, get married, plan for children, success, the house and car, etc., etc., etc.

I sat watching the end of a film that was locally filmed and the culmination was of a wedding anniversary, and a happy doting couple. The cynic may say, this is something that’s not rooted in reality, I can even look within things I’ve seen with friends and associates and could easily be that same cynic, but rather than that, I saw myself. Strange as it may seem, I saw a time, in the not too distant future, but not that soon either.

Sitting at a table near the rear of the vineyard, they sat together. No longer in their crazy thirties, but in that age of happy medium where more of their dreams had been realized, shared, accommodated, and even experienced and past. If you asked them whether this day would come in their youth, or “second youth,” the answer would likely be ‘no,’ however, today they sat, wrapped within each other. They sat sharing an old world connection that many today chose to forsake. The sparkle in their eyes glistened as their daughter struggled to sit still. The best man, at their wedding long ago, jokingly recounted his past life with a jovial but respectful speech that brought laughter and fond memories. Soon after, her Matron of honor from that time did the same.

What I Learned Sundays 4/29/2012 – Interruptions, Family, Coachella…

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This is a post that had been postponed be real events in real life for quite some weeks. Planned previously, but life changed that. Losing (figuratively) a loved family member, and regaining them back. Communication is key, along with understanding who we are as people.

I stood there, singing along to Bon Iver’s “Skinny Love,” feeling things that I shouldn’t have. A song that should have stood alone, and again, like always, I knew…something. The dark night engulfed me (us)…and the world became more real, as it always will.

Coachella Good, Bad and Ugly:
– Amazed to go to my first Coachella Valley Music and Arts Festival.
– The design allows for some music to cannibalize the artists (ie During The Black Keys, Explosions In The Sky’s set flooded the lower volume sets and breaks between music.)
– The artist selection was amazing.
– Sharing the experience was great, especially since I planned to go solo.
– Camping was an experience within itself, though I was told, “This isn’t real camping.” I’ll accept that.

What I Learned Sundays – Going Back To The Start

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Atlanta, Blue Lines, Blue Lines Blog, Coldplay, Going Back To The Start, iTunes, Key Yemaya Walker, Simple, Sol, Sun, The Scientist, Thoughts, What I Learned Sundays

Going back to the start…

Haven’t done one of these in some time.

Sometimes you have to look at the things you know, the recurrent themes, both good and bad, make a choice of what you want, and not always wait for things to fall into place the way you expect, or thing they should.

Just a general arching theme, not about a specific event, situation, etc. just a step back moment and look back at the chances, opportunities, “blessings,” and the such. Simply that. And the realization, that no one else can set the path.

And rebuilding your iTunes playlists…sucks, sorry, had to add that.

The manuscript Blue Lines is the fictional coming of age narrative of a young California woman Key Yemaya Walker, and her 2 year growing journey through school, love, and life period piece, written by Kenneth Suffern, Jr., taking place at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill between the years of 1997 – 1998. Loosely based on true events, and experiences during that time, told through the eyes and voice of the main female protagonist, a freshman first attending the school.

What I Learned Sundays (Mondays (Late) – Normal…Please… – 3/4/12

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Blue Lines, Blue Lines Blog, California, Crazy, Key Yemaya Walker, Normal

Yeah, I know this really doesn’t apply in my life, but all I want is some semblance of normal…with you, in our crazy lives…normal

The manuscript Blue Lines is the fictional coming of age narrative of a young California woman Key Yemaya Walker, and her 2 year growing journey through school, love, and life period piece, written by Kenneth Suffern, Jr., taking place at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill between the years of 1997 – 1998. Loosely based on true events, and experiences during that time, told through the eyes and voice of the main female protagonist, a freshman first attending the school.