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The following are a collection of readers thoughts of the prologue to Blue Lines. These are not my words, and forgive the formatting, I think that everyone who replied at that time wrote in capitalized text.

Reread last week’s blog for another interpretation of the Prologue from characters not associated with the manuscript.

-TCW

FIRST I WANT TO SAY THAT I READ SOMEWHERE THAT THERE ARE THREE REASONS TO NEVER WRITE A BOOK,

(1) AFTER A BREAKUP,

(2) WHEN YOU CATCH YOUR SIBLING IN BED WITH YOUR MATE.

(3) YOU SHOULD NEVER WRITE A BOOK ABOUT A ONE-NIGHT STAND (LEGAL REASONS)

AT ANY RATE WHEN YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU WERE WRITING THIS BOOK MY FIRST REACTION WAS AN IFFY ONE BECAUSE YOU SAID THAT YOU WERE WRITING IT FROM A FEMALE PERSPECTIVE. I SAID TO MYSELF OUT LOUD, HOW THAT WAS POSSIBLE. AFTER READING THIS EXCERPT I UNDERSTAND HOW THIS IS POSSIBLE. PAIN IS A WORD AND A FEELING. IT HAS NO ORIGINATTING GENDER. INDIVIDUALLY WE ALL RELATE TO IT. THAT IS THE COMMON DENOMINATOR IN YOUR WRITING. HER PAIN IS REAL. I HAVE A MORBID SENCE OF HUMOR I LAUGH AT NOT SO FUNNY THINGS. I THINK IF I HAD TO ANALYZE IT I WOULD SAY I LAUGH TO EITHER REJOICE IN THE PASSING OF A SIMULARLY PAINFUL EXPERIENCE. OR I LAUGH BECAUSE I HOPE THAT THE EXPERIENCE IS A LONG WAY AWAY. IN YOUR WRITING I THINK THE STRUCTURE NEED A LITTLE WORK A COMES BEFORE B AND AFTER L WE COULD WAIT BEFORE RETURNING TO K. I THINK AS THE READER THE AUTHOR OF THIS SAMPLE JUST WROTE WHAT HIS OR HER HEART TOLD THEM TO. YES LORD I DO IDENTIFY WITH KYW. WHY DID YOU DECIDE TO WRITE ABOUT A WOMEN AND NOT A MAN? JUST COURIOUS. YOU’VE GOT SOME GREAT LINES HERE KEN. I LIKED HOW SHE STARED OUT AT THE MIST COVERED SKYLINE. I WAS PLEASENTLY SURPRISED. I THINK YOUR GOOD AT THIS WRITING THANG.

-MET

WELL, I’LL START MY REVIEW…I WAS VERY IMPRESSED. I TRIED TO SEPARATE THE WORK FROM THE CREATOR SO THAT I WOULDN’T BE BIASED. ALTHOUGH I’VE ONLY READ 3 PAGES, I FEEL LIKE YOU ARE HEADED IN THE RIGHT DIRECTION. THE SCENE WAS VERY REAL. ACTUALLY, IT WAS A LITTLE TOO REAL. I’VE BEEN IN HER POSITION. IT REMINDED ME OF ONE OF THE DARKEST TIMES IN MY LIFE. SO, I DEFINITELY CAN RELATE TO THE CHARACTER, EVEN THOUGH IT IS VERY PAINFUL TO DO SO. WITH ALL THAT BEING SAID, THAT IS THE KEY TO YOUR SUCCESS. AS SAD AS IT IS, I DON’T KNOW ONE PERSON THAT WON’T BE ABLE TO RELATE. SO…HERE IT STARTS.

-MFB

I’VE READ THE PROLOGUE. IT’S VERY INTERESTING AND DRAWING. HOWEVER, IT REPEATS THE SAME THINGS IN DIFFERENT WAYS, WHICH CAUSES IT.

-MM

OK I FELT SORRY FOR THIS WOMAN I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO MAKE HER FEEL THIS WAY. I THOUGH SHE WAS SOOOOO PITIFUL STANDING OUT IN THE RAIN. I WANTED TO COMFORT HER AND TELL HER, “HONEY WHATEVER IT IS IT’S GOING TO BE ALL RIGHT.” I GOT THE FEELING THAT SHE WAS ON THE EDGE OF SUICIDE.

-BP

VERY INTRIGUING!! THE SUSPENSION ON THE FIRST THREE PAGES IS GOOD; IT MAKES ME WANT TO READ ON. HAVE YOU FINISHED THE ENTIRE BOOK?

-ZP

WELL, FIRST I FELT SORRY FOR HER. WHATEVER SHE HAD BEEN THROUGH MUST HAVE BEEN REALLY PAINFUL FOR HER TO THINK SHE WAS INSIGNIFICANT AND NO LONGER HAVE A TOMORROW. SECONDLY, I WANTED TO CONSOLE HER BECAUSE I HAVE BEEN WHERE SHE IS AND FELT SOME OF THOSE THINGS AND I WANTED TO TELL HER EVERYTHING WOULD BE OKAY JUST GIVE IT TIME. TIME HEALS ALL WOUNDS…AND THIRDLY I WANTED TO KNOW WHAT HAPPENED TO BRING HER TO THIS POINT…OBVIOUSLY IT HAS SOMETHING TO DO WITH “BLUE”…

-TS

LET ME PULL OUT YOUR STORY…FIRST OF ALL…I WAS THINKING…WHY DID YOU NAME THE STORY BLUE LINES? AFTER READING THE PROLOGUE I THOUGHT THAT THE TITLE SHADE OF BLUE SOUNDED BETTER, SIMPLY FOR TWO REASONS:

(1) A SHADE OF BLUE REPRESENTS HER TRYING TO HIDE THIS HURT SHE’S FEELING AND IT ALSO REPRESENTS THE TYPE OF HURT SHE’S FEELING.

(2) TWO FORMS OF “SHADE.” IN READING YOUR PROLOGUE I STARTING GETTING A LITTLE UPSET BECAUSE YOU WERE TEASING ME WITH WHY KYW IS HURT.

I’M ASSUMING IT’S OVER A MAN…BUT I’M NOT SURE WHY IT’S OVER A MAN. ANOTHER THING IS I UNDERSTAND THAT YOU’RE FOCUSING ON KYW, BUT THERE IS ALSO A FRIEND IN THE SCENE? WHY IS SHE THERE? HOW IS HER PRESENCE SIGNIFICANT TO THE SCENE? I LIKED THE PART WHERE YOU SAID “AZUL REMAINED HUSHED…” I COULD REALLY SEE THAT AND FEEL THAT PART FOR SOME REASON, I GUESS BECAUSE REAL FRIENDS KNOW WHEN TO SPEAK AND WHEN TO STAND ASIDE AND JUST LISTEN OR WATCH.

OK ANOTHER THING; WATCH HOW YOUR CHARACTERS MOVE THROUGHOUT THE SCENE. ONE MOMENT AZUL WAS UNDER THE AWNING AND THE NEXT SHE WAS AT A TABLE THEN SHE WAS BACK AT THE AWNING. YOUR CHARACTERS JUMP AND YOU NEED TO MOVE THEM AROUND FOR THE READER. I DON’T THINK YOU MADE THEM MOVE ONCE IN THE SCENE…WHEN SHE PULLS OUT THE BLACK AND MILD DON’T FORGET TO HAVE HER REMOVE THAT LITTLE PLASTIC WRAP (THAT’S AN UNIMPORTANT DETAIL THAT MIGHT MAKE THE SCENE MORE VISUAL). IN GENERAL, AZUL NEEDS TO BE LARGER IN THE SCENE OR SHE NEEDS TO BE DELETED–BUT THAT’S JUST MY OPINION. GIVE ME A FEW MORE DETAILS ON WHAT YOU THOUGHT…AND WHEN YOU GET READY SEND ME SOME MORE OF YOUR STORY.

The manuscript Blue Lines is the fictional coming of age narrative of my protagonist a young California woman KYW, and her 2 year growing journey through school, love, and life. A period piece, written by Kenneth Suffern, Jr., taking place at the University of North Carolina at Chapel Hill between the years of 1997 – 1998. Loosely based on true events, and experiences during that time, told through the eyes and voice of the main female protagonist, a freshman first attending the school.